Monday, October 16, 2006

Once I figure out what I'm trying to do is impossible, I relax. Because

1. Maybe it really is forever and for sure impossible and not my calling and therefore I can stop trying.


2. Maybe it is impossible at present and yet part of my calling to go for.

That means I will procede to have a go at the impossible. I will try many things. I will try to remember to try many kinds of things. Paint the barn green to find the hard to find well because while painting the barn green I remember that mushy place I messed up my shoe in once, that messy place, that wet place.

I will try many things, and I will look bad. Looking silly is built into trying for the impossible. As is failing. So no need to fear looking like a fool or failing, since they are built it.

Have at it. Do my multi-directioned best while knowing I can't know what would be best in this hopeless and rich circumstance.

Of course, (1.) giving up can sometimes be even better than (2.) trying oddly and variously. Giving may mean that years later, between one step and the other, there it is, shining and obvious, how to do what used to be, til that moment, impossible.