God may want you to be here later. You may not get to know why. Like, someday, the sun on your hair on the bus goes into the dream of a rider six seats back who wakes up and doesn't remember the dream but feels great and smiles at the stranger on the street who is then extra nice to a child who keeps an extra ounce of original wisdom so you have no right to kill yourself or even to go numb while faking being alive.